My First Thought Was My Son Was “Taking The Mickey”

I was sitting in the travel agents office organizing travel insurance, when my youngest phoned me to share the news that the family is now at war, with an enemy that I didn’t know still existed.




Are scabies even real?

Wasn’t scabies something that sailors had on boats around the time of Captain Hornblower or Cook? No, I thought, that was

scurvy from lack of vitamin C.  Like all things that crawl on the sacred temple, namely me or my own, I had mistakenly thought that scabies was a thing of the past.


Unfortunately for me, I now know scabies are real and they crawl, breed and love living on human hosts.


Let’s not over react people but I recommend shutting the door and burning the house down immediately.

I would also recommend throwing in the offending offspring.




OK that’s too hasty.


After a Google search or two, I realized this has become a Three Musketeer moment. You know all for one and one for all or some bollocks like that. (At this point I am the only one who has become slave to the laundry, the only one on my hands and knees scrubbing the bathrooms to the point of mother being able to eat off the floor if she so desired.)

I digress, being highly contagious (even that word makes me itch)  I feel compelled to share all the good things currently going on in my household besides being ready to sail away in 40 days.


Important Note – This is gross and the more I know the grosser it gets.


To Be Honest I Wasn’t Expecting Any Of This

As my three grew and moved from the world of childcare, playgrounds and holding hands to walk in straight lines, I had several occasions to share in the delights of nits. A mixture of cream, extreme combing and finally giving in to go the full shave over of your child’s head,  (who says short  short hair isn’t attractive) I feel like I’ve had my fair share of communicable disease.

I thought I was “home and hosed”.



Smug Karma is a Bitch and she comes when you least expect her. Her wardrobe involves 8 legs and 2500 years of pissing on humanity  and making us itch together.


Contagious – Unclean  – Freaking Bugs On YOUR Body – OMG

 scabies on hand photo from the mirror

Even writing this is sending my hair into melt down. In fact I am almost sure that wriggly feeling behind my ear is not only real but now a serious threat.


Ewwww, did I say this is horrible. In fact anything that brings to your attention there is a microscopic world living on you is way too much information. Unless I’m forced, as in now, to deal with the world of bugs, I’d prefer to put my fingers in my ears, say blah blah very loudly and pretend this aspect of life is not real.



Important Question – How Did The Youngest Son Acquire Scabies?

Here’s the kicker we don’t know. Mostly children get them but all of us are at risk by living in the community. No wonder I am keen to live on a boat on the ocean!

Plus even thinking about it is making my flesh move without brain interaction…


1. Strip every bed of all linen, even if you washed it one day prior.

2. All clothing that has been worn in recent days, weeks or in fact the season, if you want to be truly sure, all need to be washed in scalding hot water.

3. All bathrooms cleaned scrubbed and bleached then wiped down with disinfectant.

4. All towels  to be washed in super hot water and repeated for the next 7 days. Single use only and bugger the water bill.

4. A shower before bed, then application of the purchased cream, liberally applied to your every personal nook and cranny. At this point I asked the Pharmacist what the cream was. I tell you no lie, this dude used the words “human insecticide”. Ugh SO Gross!

4.1 When discussing strategy with  the expert man in the white jacket he recommend to sleep on a plastic sheet to stop the cream spreading and the sheets needing rewashing. What the Hell!  More washing perhaps but sleeping on plastic will happen on the first day I am dead- and not before.


Now I Am A Google Scabies Expert Let Me Inform (My Big Sister) What I Know About Scabies


1. WRONG Scabies are not like a Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) only obtained from prolonged skin to skin contact. In fact anyone can get them from casual encounters. Less likely by hugging and shaking hands but still possible.

Social creatures, scabies love the communal bed but will still commit even if your not so willing.

2. Scabies are a tiny mite that see it as their duty to move from one host to another. They love a crowd, a party, a sleep over, live for 24 hours on bedding once you roll over and depart and can take up to 8 freaking weeks to show any symptoms. Almost impossible to see with the naked eye but your denial doesn’t mean they won’t come home for dinner.

3. A female mite lives for 4 weeks and it’s in death that you get to know she has been visiting….The itch from the dead carcass is what upsets your skin. Also our skin finds crazy, mind altering annoying reactions, to the mites urine and faeces  they so casually leave behind.

4. If you’ve had scabies before you don’t need to wait 4 – 8 weeks for a reaction to a scabies visit. Your body remembers and reacts straight away. Who said evolution was a thing of the past?


5. Doctors often misdiagnose scabies thinking you have eczema or a virus. Our child took three visits to a doctor to be diagnosed correctly – poor dear.

6. Once a female finds her way onto your skin, she burrows down and lays her eggs. It takes 2-3 weeks for the eggs to hatch. Once hatched the 8 legged offspring burrow up to the surface to mate with fellow brothers and sisters to repeat the process. Their food source is you.

7. The cream you buy only kills the bitch but because it is her dead body that makes you itch, her revenge continues for up to two weeks while you shed skin to the point that drives you crazy. I did warn you these things are nasty.

8. If you have a suppressed immune system, the symptoms from the scabies can take up to 3 to 4 months to appear – eeek too much! Then to make matters worse the effects take longer to leave. My advice is eat your vegetables and get plenty of sleep.

9. The itch and irritation from scabies is INTENSE, think “trainspotting”  kind of itch. This means empathy must be given to sufferers because let’s be honest in three weeks time it might be you.

10. Scabies is highly contagious – the more you touch, the higher the chance of being infected.  I have always thought Donald Trump was weird, not shaking hands with people, maybe at some point he had a scabies experience or something similar.

donald trump

11. The favorite hiding places for scabies is the webbing of fingers, toes, creases of the wrist, armpits and genitalia. Yet they normally avoid the human face and neck. Isn’t that kind of them.

12. Final point, some people can scar from the effects, bodies react differently so early treatment is highly recommended.


Yes, life is busy, plus I’ve had to take a days annual leave to deal with the mountain of washing and cleaning these critters have caused.

We are now only 5 weeks away from departure, but instead of telling you the ins and outs of what we need to do before leaving, I am sharing the joy of mites.


Life is truly beautiful.



Cheers the Miss



PS. Now I may have gone slightly over board on the cleaning and scrubbing, I don’t know, but hey, life is short and one person in the family with symptoms is one too many to this small bug hating Miss.

PPS.  let’s hope as a sailor I will experience neither scabies nor scurvy.

Pass me an orange could you?


















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